All about me

Hello World, remember me.
I'm the fella who can't get anything for free.
The Irish conflict statistic.
The optimistic sadistic.

Pleasure out of pain.
Signed on too many Mondays.
Try to remember my name.
I'm following the Championship most Sundays.

My Granny's getting madder.
I was robbed of a Father.
My Mother's got Parkinson's Disease.
My Bro says I cut the cheese.

Over in Cookstown.
I'm not lookin down.
Cinema delights.
Most Sunday nights.

You know me.
I'm from Ardboe.
I say 'Holy Jesus!'
I say 'Ghosto!'
I've got a cousin in Kilrea.
She's the furthest away.

I went to a Derry School.
Considered a Tyrone Fool.
I avoided all the fights.
The happiest days of my life.

University in Coleraine.
Got a 2:2.
Met so many psychos.
Red, White and Blue.

Derry, Belfast, Dublin.
For Work I was always ready.
Tried an approach towards coupelin'.
But they were all going steady.

All my mates in Ballyronan.
Was first thought a slow man.
But they soon liked what I had to offer.
More than any other.

All about me.
Repeated like an ABC.
All about me.
For all the world to see.