Why, oh why? (Poem)

Why, oh why?
Did people have to die.
Every single July.
In the battle between the Sash.
And the Fields of Athenry.
All about Ulster Tries.
As well as Ulster Fries.
While watching Family Guy.
No one will say 'Bye Bye!'
Don't fret, don't cry.
The end of War is nigh.
Students read 'Catcher in the Rye'.
While you say they're bleeding you dry.
Don't stand idly by.
Go for the prize.
Rather than demand a rise.
For you don't realise.
How small is the size.

Famous (Another attempt at a song)

Verse 1

Michael Jackson!
Paedophile!
OJ Simpson!
Got off in style!

Like the King!
Love me Tender!
Jerry Lee Lewis!
Sex Offender!

Chorus:

Playing Football and Kicking Ass!
Every Sunday, after Mass!
Our future governed by our past!
Like Jarvis Cocker, a different Class!

Verse 2

Half a Million!
Without the Zeros!
Mariah Carey!
Without a Hero!

Dublin, Monaghan!

And Omagh!

9/11!

New York, oh Man!

Chorus:

Verse 3

Being a Poet!

From Tyrone!

Make yourself heard!

Beyond your Home!

Celebrities!

On Big Brother!

The kids messed up!

Like no other!

Coda:

Time!

Cannot rhyme!

But mine!

Is never divine!

Blues Thursday (My attempt at a Blues song)

I'm a Catholic, for that you can't accuse!
Americans think we'll no longer have Christmas, all because of the Jews!
Just like that MI5 Job I saw posted on the Irish News!

Affordable housing, raised by the SDLP!
Cheaper Houses, for you and for me!
Can't afford Two hundred Grand, don't let that be!

Latest fads, all seem Gay to me!
These people worship me with their lips, but their Hearts are far away from me!
I'm just hoping, just hoping that you'd stay with me!

I'm 28, but I've only just passed the Driving Test!
Still a learning curve, not like all the rest!
But if you wanna do something, you have to be the best!

Eat, then Drink, then be merry!
Staying up on Thursday Night, just like when you were in Derry!
I'm from Tyrone, the only ones that can beat Kerry!

Elvis, Jimmy Page, Eminem, all great Wiggers!
All influenced by Black Culture, media said 'Go Figure'!
They start off small at first, then get bigger and bigger!

So that's all folks, just like Warner Brothers!
When you lose your Father, you have to rely on your Mother!
At least you don't have a Sister, but instead you have a Brother!

Monday Night Football

The US of A.
The Religious versus Gays.
The war in Iraq.
Left in a haze.

Young Tupac wannabees.
Accused of Gun crime.
Not like Prince at Half Time.
Just like Sting and U2.
Fans shout 'Go W'!
Everything seems just fine.

Krusty the Clown.
Very like Garfield's Binky.
Jerry Falwell versus Tinky Winky.
God Bless America.
While the guys are drinking.

Life is da bomb.
White kids reply 'Your Mom'.
Do the test at 16.
Routing for my team.

Monday Night Football.
The American way.
Black and White.
The USA!
Touchdown, the Constitutional right.
The people unite.