The Chippy

There's a Guy in the Village!
In the Local Chip Shop!
With Rugby Track Bottoms!
And a Tyrone Track Top!

He wouldn't like Soccer!
He considers it Foreign!
He sees the Players!
Named Andy, Dave and Warren!

He's wearing a Hood!
But I do as well!
Not a Trouble Maker!
Didn't shout or yell!

Ordered from the phone!
When my Bro was at home!
Opens at 5 on the dot!
Your order won't be forgot!

You then go the the Shop!
To buy a Lotto Ticket!
A series of unfortunate events happened!
Like Lemony Snicket!

You were in Marks and Spencer!
Lots of fancy nosh!
But you need the money for them!
It's food for the posh!

Your Great Aunt was buried at Half 12!
You Cousin is a star singer!
She has the success!
The chief money bringer!

This Sunday's almost over!
You're almost 29!
In a couple of days time!
You're feeling close to fine!
Listening to Kelly Osbourne online!
Lucky like a four-leaved clover!

Help is at hand

You Tears cure Cancer!
Too bad you never cried!
That suddenly changes when you're Parents died!

You're a Jack of All Trades!
But a master of none!
You feel there's no hope left!
When you could've had some fun!

This isn't from the Streets!
This is from the Country Lane!
You experienced Pain!
Over and Over again!

Money is your downfall!
It goes into free fall!
You can't get what you want!
You feel Progress has stalled!

America has everything cheep there!
They can afford all the latest Hardware!
Right in the Middle of the credit crunch!
You've been hit a massive sucker punch!

All you have to do is Pray, like Gary Barlow!
Have the same condition as Leonardo!
The one with the famous Code!
You come back to your old abode!

Everybody says someone else is racist!
Flicking through some Magazine's Pages!
Peter Andre went Insania!
He's more Bats than Transylvania!

So here's to those whose life is screwed!
Whether You're Christian, Muslim, Buddhist or Jew!
You have to cope with more spending!
Just hope and pray for a happy ending!