Friday, 15 July 2011

Need to get out of Self

I'm trapped within myself!

Not too long to go to until the twelfth!

My stuff hasn't been faced!

I had been in such haste!

I have placed service in the shelf!


Sounding like a Limerick!

Like an oil rig leakage slick!

I should head back home!

That should do the trick!


My self serving has run riot!

My brain has turned into spaghetti!

I was not a rabbit named George!

By the Looney Tunes Yeti!


Food has turned into a narcotic!

I have argued about the same topic!

It's now time to surrender!

Otherwise become a fast food offender!


Arguing with my dear old Gran!

Leaves me as angry as I possibly can!

Mustn't get out of the frying pan!

Or else the fire will be close at hand!


My obsession with food isn't lifted!

I haven't been properly listening!

I've had put downs gifted!

I'm not all shiny and glistening!


An argument online erupted!

I was filled with a lot of rage!

Someone was out of line!

I entered at the wrong time!


I now have to leave the webpage!

I take too seriously the opinions of others!

The age old battle over beliefs!

Has given me too much bother!


Now it's time to let go!

People aren't gonna be one hundred percent!

And it's time to let those know!

That my time isn't completely spent!

Wednesday, 22 June 2011

Things work out

When life deals you lemons, make lemonade.

When your Bus stops at a Hotel in Ardara; it means “Go!”, Less to be paid.

My Brother's trip to see his Skype Chum.

Had Gran in a Rattle and Hum. But I was still roped into coming too.

I couldn't find another way through.


Steps talked about one for sorrow! But I saw two for joy!

We had to take Buses to the West. 'Cause Gran says the Car is, “Not a Toy!”

But we got to Enniskillen okay.

Then waited for the Cross Border Bus to make its way.


Beforehand, en route to Dungannon.

I felt as sick as an overfed puppy.

I had to dash to Tesco's Filling Station. For medical resuscitation.

Had to rush like an 80's yuppy.


In Enniskillen the kids were out in force.

Coming home from School. I wanted to bolt like a horse.

We waited for a whole hour.

Thank God I had a Shower.

The Bus to Donegal Town arrived when the depot was quiet.


En route to Ballyshannon.

Some Geezer in a Van lept like a Salmon.

The Bus had to swerve and toot. I thought, “Holy God, I'd have been kaput!”

The Town of Rory Gallagher rocked a different way then.


But we got to Donegal for the Bus to Ardara.

And the Hotel was €90 less than the B and B for 3 nights.

What a trip it has been.

My Brother's Friend, we did see.

Now I won't have to deal with any more freights.

Monday, 20 June 2011

Mid Afternoon Matters

Mid Afternoon.

Not exactly Mills and Boon.

But a time when I'm busy.

And Gran's in a Tizzy.

My Brother's exams are almost over.


He's bright as a Supernova.

But he is a young lad lost.

In a world of YouTube and Skype.

He isn't a Wild Rover.


In the Bar with Friends.

Talking about Rock and Roll.

Life's hard on the Dole.

But we meet all our ends.


We talked about antics.

And talked about Music.

Pink Floyd, Led Zeppelin, Rory Gallagher.

I've become enthusiastic.


The news makes me resentful.

About Financial Controllers.

Thomas the Bank Engine.

Made us all dolers.


Then I went to the Chippy.

Better be bright and nippy.

I had to say sorry.

For saying things in a hurry.


Now I'm back in the good books of the woman in charge.

Need to learn to think before speaking.

Can't have broth without cooks.


The Afternoon ends on a happy note.

I've had regrets in the past.

But I'm sure it won't last.

I'm singing a Rock and Roll Tune.

Things work out

When life deals you lemons, make lemonade.
When your Bus stops at a Hotel in Ardara;
it means “Go!” Less to be paid.
My Brother's trip to see his Skype Chum.
Had Gran in a Rattle and Hum.
But I was still roped into coming too.
I couldn't find another way through.

Steps talked about one for sorrow!
But I saw two for joy!
We had to take Busses to the West.
'Cause Gran says the Car is, “Not a Toy!”
But we got to Enniskillen okay.
Then waited for the Cross Border Bus to make its way.

Beforehand, en route to Dungannon.
I felt as sick as an overfed puppy.
I had to dash to Tesco's Filling Station.
For medical resuscitation.
Had to rush like an 80's yuppy.

In Enniskillen the kids were out in force.
Coming home from School.
I wanted to bolt like a horse.
We waited for a whole hour.
Thank God I had a Shower.
The Bus to Donegal Town arrived when the depot was quiet.

En route to Ballyshannon.
Some Geezer in a Van lept like a Salmon.
The Bus had to swerve and toot.
I thought, “Holy Gog, I'd have been kaput!”
The Town of Rory Gallagher rocked a different way then.

But we got to Donegal for the Bus to Ardara.
And the Hotel was €90 than the B and B for 3 nights.
What a trip it has been.
My Brother's Friend, we did see.
Now I won't have to deal with any more freights.

Thursday, 9 June 2011

The Net

Hi! I'm 14 too!

I like Lady Gaga, just like you!

Do you play for the Ladies' GFC?


Yeah, I do play for U-16s in Midfield!

I have a dog named Suzie, she just wouldn't yield.

Those are the basics about me!


“What School do you go to?”

“I'm in the Secondary!”

“Do you like your School?”

“On the Contrary!”

I hope to know more about you another day!

I have homework to do now!

Chat latter, see you, chiao!

Oh that's fine, dad has a Bill to pay!


The next day arrives!

“Hi there, watch Footballers' Wives?”

“Oh that show is so old!”

“Ach well, I'm sure you're watching about Gypsy Weddings!

I'm learning about video embedding!

But tonight it's pretty cold!”


“But do you think we could ever meet?

I hope you're not rushed off your feet!

My Dad could pick you up on Sunday!”

“I don't know about that!

I feel a little bit fat!

But I'd love to see you someday!”


A few weeks later!

She told her mum that she hates her!

“You don't know what it's like to be in love!”

“They all say they're different, Honey!

They're after more than just Money!

They're not sent from Heaven like a Dove!”


She runs off to see his dad!

“You must be Amy? Come to Adam's Pad!

He'll be delighted to see you!

For it will be fun for friends to chat!

Never mind if you feel fat!

Your Mum doesn't want to be you!”


When she arrives in Adam's Home.

“Take a shower!”, Dad says in a tone.

“Adam will be here in a little while!”

So Amy goes into the Bathroom.

Takes off her clothes and has room.

To clean herself and then smile.


Then she notices something funny.

A Piece of glass that looks sunny.

She wonders for a while and then carries on.

Then she hears a distant noise.

Shouts of orgasmic joy.

Finally she realises that something's wrong.


She dries herself with a towel.

But then soon on the prowl.

It's the dad who comes in a flash.

“Is there anything the matter?

Can we come to the kitchen for a natter?

I'll answer some concerns before you dash!”


Then she senses a smell.

From dad's midriff, “What the Hell?

It's like nothing I've ever smelt before!”

Then she runs to dad's room.

Where she heard the noise that went through.

The wall's a few minutes before.


She then sees a scene.

Like a CCTV.

Suddenly she's shocked and sickened.

He's been filming her naked.

And satisfied himself, Adam's a fakester.

Suddenly the plot thickened.


He is really a pervert.

The type that she's heard of.

He wanted her all for himself.

Then he came approaching.

With his skills used for poaching.

And tried to flatten her off the shelf.


But then she used Girl Power.

And then took the nozzle lead from the shower.

And caught him by the neck.

“You stole the innocence off mine!

I'm gonna dial 999!

You've turned girls' lives into a wreck!”


Then in came the Police!

He ran off in a fleece!

But eventually they caught him!

They then took his Hard Drive!

And couldn't believe their eyes!

At the scenes of girls he was courting!


Amy is still in shock!

But she survived to run amok!

To tell younger girls of this tale!

Don't meet up online!

Unless you're old enough to define!

The dangers of an incognito male!

Thursday, 28 April 2011

Imagining Heaven

Imagine there actually is a Heaven!

And that there never was a 9/11!

Imagine no sympathy for the Devil!

Imagine there never was Another Level!


Can we imagine our own Nirvana?

Without arguing about South Armagh?

Can we look beyond the Pope and the Queen?

And imagine us all batting for the same Team?


Imagine there were no singer/songwriters!

Imagine the men were not behind the wire!

Imagine if we were real fighters!

Getting through life, not brawling and setting things on fire!


Imagine if we were all allowed to pray!

Not like Gary Barlow, but the Dali Lama way!

Imagine Taigs and Huns joining forces!

And stop electioneering and betting on Horses!


Imagine every one was a good driver!

And that Saturday Nights didn't lead to lives expired!

Can we think that we can see the second coming?

Or have we imagined that the world would all come to nothing?

Friday, 8 April 2011

What the Hell happened?

What the Hell happened the Police?

It's the same thing that happened the Priests!

How the Hell did we become corrupt?

Why did the Nation f**k up?


Do we still believe Armageddon?

Or did Bruce Willis take it to a new Level?

Are we too materialistic?

Have we become another Generation of Statistics?


Over on one side of the Border!

A good man was killed to create disorder!

Why is it the good ones that die?

Over a misunderstanding about July?


It's a Festival of some sorts!

The Musicians perform for the Courts!

The people are engulfed with a hate!

And the educated all emigrate!


Teenagers are still ineffectual!

Hero worshiping a Transsexual!

All geared towards a Grammy!

The Hippie Women are now all Grannies!


Where's the training to create Jobs?

Have our kids become privileged slobs?

Dumbed down texters on the Net!

Doing anything for a cheap bet!


Bank Robbers are now heroes!

In the era of Banking Neros!

What the Hell happened our Money?

The Bankers ran away like the Easter Bunny!

Sunday, 3 April 2011

Gout

The ailment of the Aristocracy!

In the era of bureaucracy!

Gran's leg had its own Bloody Sunday!

But she wanted to wait till Monday!


The out-of-hours is on standby!

Just a phone call away!

But Gran is a superpower!

A Queen in her Castle!

Could she get seen to?

Or will she maintain her watchtower?


Eventually she compromised!

Her consent had to be prized!

Eventually a Nurse rang!

We went to the surgery!

It was almost like purgury!

With Gran concealing her health secrets!


She was told she had Arthritis!

Think about it as I write this!

I have leg issues myself!

Need to discuss this later!


When Gran was told she had inflamation!

I was no longer subject to condemnation!

She thanked God for me!

I was vindicated!


On Monday it was to normal surgery!

For a Blood Test and a Chat!

Later in the day the results came out!

It was revealed that she had Gout!


I then let people know online!

The advice they gave was fine!

Plenty of Cherries!

And juice of cranberries!

It was better than the Anti-Inflamatories!


Keeping things in perspective!

Has left me reflective!

I have cramp in my shins!

Now I have to heed the advice!

And take the same drinks!


So it's the story of Gout!

It's worse than a fungal infection!

So think of the poor little Rich Lady!

In the Agricultural Section!

Monday, 14 March 2011

The Library Night

Monday Night in the Library!
Brother in his night class!
Watching two little girls do Maths Homework!

They were competing with each other!
Bragging rights, in fluent Valley Girl!
A bright Future lies ahead of them!
They can use their Brains rather than twirl!

The 24-Hour Shop close by!
Convenient for things to buy!
Waiting for your Brother in Town!
Gran will make sure you're home for Nine!

About 20 Minutes left of Internet time!
Before the Town rings 8 O'Clock Chimes!
But there's no division bell here!
Just Tesco, SuperValu and Asda!
Can't be further near!

The Coffee Machine lies in waiting!
Cappuchino costs 50p!
For I have another Half Hour to wait!
Before my Brother's Class draws to a close!

The Census form has arrived in Today's Post!
Too much information!
Another Statistic in a Government Chart!
As in two song from 'Ghost in the Machine'!
Live in the now!
Don't dare to dream!

For one must think of Public Services!
For old wounds resurface!
About the battle between Left and Right!
Who is gonna take action?
In the case of 'Fight or Flight'!

Libraries provide a free education!
But this is no longer a knowledgeable Nation!
TV have taken over Souls!
Young Mothers in the Estates!
Seeking more from their Begging Bowl!

In the heart of Mid Ulster!
There is a pain quite like a Mouth Ulcer!
Too many Jobseekers, not enough Jobs!
Everyone's trying to save a few Bobs!

So it's the end of a Library Night!
Contemplating what's ahead of us!
With the Internet provision!
I couldn't concentrate enough to read Best Sellers!
But Wikipedia is perfect for Revision!

Now awaiting the Coffee Machine!
And my Brother back from Tech!
And we'll be back home afterwards!
After another Library Night!

Saturday, 8 January 2011

Christmas Thaw

All I want for Christmas is a thaw!
No more White Christmases!
Watching Rolf Harris draw!
It was the done thing when Mum was a girl!
When Parents wore bracelets and pearls!

The big freeze 2010!
Just like what it was back then!
Gran went mental when I gone to drive!
Keeping the Car together was worth the try!
Such Winters, I couldn't remember when!

Christmas day was very real!
Only eating my three meals!
Listening to Dylan and the King!
As well as hearing Sinatra sing!
Before that, in the Chapel to kneel!

Christmas Online!
Hope forever thine!
With my Online Buddies busy!
I wasn't caught in a Tizzy!
It helped me pass a little more time!

Facebook update jokes!
About the IMF Bailout!
The Turkey didn't choke!
Jokes about Wikileaks!
And TV Hilight of the week!
It was good in the time of Hope!

Texting my Friends later!
They became food hangover haters!
All in strict confidence!
No revelations in a conference!
Friends in Australia deal with Alligators!

Boxing Day it was Plus 2!
Great for driving through!
But out shed door still doesn't budge!
Even with a big nudge!
No Cinema Tonight for me and you!

Milder times ahead!
If only Mum and Dad weren't dead!
But I've come out of it stronger!
I hope to live much longer!
Tonight I'll sleep sounder in my Bed!